EARLY CHILDHOOD - SETTING THE STAGEMy story really begins in 1971, when I went into Kindergarten. I was four, going on five in November of that year. The occult was in vogue. My television diet consisted of shows like “Bewitched,” “I Dream of Jeannie,” “Scooby Doo,” “The Phunky Phantom,” “Sabrina the Teenage Witch” and others like it...cartoons aimed at children, which presented the occult as attractive, sugarcoated, desirable. Rather than presenting the occult as a real, spiritual path, it was presented as the stuff of children’s fantasies. I also ate up thrillers like Saturday morning’s “Creature Feature” -- whenever the program featured the supernatural, I tuned in. In the book stores at that time, astrology and witchcraft dominated the shelves. Linda Goodman’s Sun Signs and other such books were abundant. For some reason, in my house, we had The Encyclopedia of Witchcraft and Demonology. Even at four years old, I was able to read and understand most of the entries, and I was fascinated by the pictures. I remember especially being attracted to a picture of Azaroth and Baphomet. The Cowsills were on the radio singing “The Age of Aquarius,” and the occult was an accepted lifestyle; it was cool to be into this stuff. I had no reason to be afraid, even at four. Parker Brothers sold a small game in toys stores across America called the Ouija board at the time, a divination tool with which one could speak with “spirits” - be they your departed Uncle Bruce, or Abraham Lincoln. Surely, it is playing with fire....even pagans warn against playing around with the Ouija board. THE HALLOWEEN PARTY While I was still four, I went to a Kindergarten classmate’s Halloween party where the ouija board was among the fun things to do. While the party was ending, and the children were being picked up by their parents, there remained at the party four children: me, my friend Cynthia, and two other boys. Having already bobbed for apples, showed off our costumes, and eaten half of our trick or treats, Cynthia brought out the Ouija board! It was sleek, and interesting.....how wonderful! Imagine being able to speak to spirits! (By the way, Ouija means "Yes! Yes! in French and German---what are we saying Yes to?) Of course, now Christians have something similar called an Angel Board. How sad that Christians are embracing the ouija board cloaked as an angel.
Here is how old I was
Ex 20:5 Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them: for I the LORD thy God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me.The Word of God is accurate. My grandfather and his wife brought their sins onto us. I experienced the full brunt of the spiritual deception which they wallowed in. Up till now, my life had been a training ground. Now the stage was set, and Act Two began. MOM’S DEATH: THE PASSING ON OF DEMONS One day in February 1981, I stayed home from school. I had plans to go out that day, and I came downstairs at 9 in the morning to talk to Mom about where I planned to go. I couldn’t find Mom that day. I looked in the basement. I looked upstairs. I looked in the living room. I walked through the kitchen, passing her half-empty cup of coffee on the table, and stood in front of the bathroom. I called to her, “Mom!” There was no answer. I went to open the bathroom door, and it was locked. I got a nail file, and unlocked it, and could only open it halfway...Mom was lying in front of the door. She had a heart attack. I shoved the door open, and saw the signs of a struggle. She’d locked herself in the bathroom so that I couldn’t see her. Her head hug behind the toilet, and when I grabbed her arm and pulled her up, her face was blue. I dropped her. After I dialed 911, I shouted to her, over and over, “Mom, don’t die! Please, don’t die!” while I ran across the driveway to my neighbor’s house. I was only 14 -- how could I handle this, my guides asked. They pressed, Why is God doing this to me? Why was I home when this was happening? God seemed distant, but not my guides. I didn’t need to call for them -- they were there, looking frightened along with me. When I got to my neighbor’s house, there was a nurse there, who took care of his aging mother. She was drunk. I pulled her across the driveway and into my house, despite her objections. She yelled at me to help her get Mom up and into the kitchen, but I had phone calls to make. My brother, my sister, my father. I was the one who told them Mom was dying. Or maybe even dead. EMS got there, and they worked on her. They got her breathing, and got her outside to the front steps, and she stopped again. They resuscitated her, and put her in the ambulance, bringing her to the hospital. When we got there, it was too late. My guides gave me strength. I had even brough a pair of rosary beads from the house for good luck. Even though I was a practicing witch at this time, I considered myself a Christian witch (an oxymoron, like Jumbo Shrimp...it just can't be). I grew up in a Catholic family, and I believed that Jesus was the Son of God, and knew the phrase “Jesus died for your sins,” although I didn’t fully understand what it meant. I considered my guides, my “power,” to come from Jesus. Never once did I assume I’d tapped into something evil. Satan does not appear in a puff of red smoke with a pitchfork, hooves, horns and fire. If you saw him for what he is, you could easily reject him. He appears as a seduction. As a likable entity. As a good person. Satan is a sociopath. He is the charming killer -- the Bible says he appears as an angel of light.
2Co 11:13 For such are false apostles, deceitful workers, transforming themselves into the apostles of Christ. 14 And no marvel; for Satan himself is transformed into an angel of light. 15 Therefore it is no great thing if his ministers also be transformed as the ministers of righteousness; whose end shall be according to their works.After my mother had died, and life returned to what could be considered normal, I reaped the fruit of my maternal grandfather’s immersion into voodoo. After nine years of suffering with "daydreaming spells" and "fainting spells," I was finally diagnosed as idiopathic epileptic: Epilepsy with no known cause. My seizures began happening more frequently, and they were no longer absence seizures...they were generalized seizures, seizures where you collapse and convulse. THE STUDIES INTENSIFY - COLLEGE And my study of witchcraft and divination got more intense.
Junior year college, with the ring
Ps 103:12 As far as the east is from the west, so far hath he removed our transgressions from us.I felt myself become a new creation! And suddenly, where I stood with God changed! I was beloved! I was now Valerie, Child of God! And my sobs of anguish turned to sobs of joy! I sobbed till the end of mass, confusing those around me, and that included Martin. I’d knelt in the presence of God for the whole mass...God had chosen that place and time to reach me. Did He do it because I was in a Catholic church? No, He did it despite my circumstances or surroundings. We left mass and I went home with Martin and got out a garbage bag...and everything went into the bag. Rock records, witchcraft books and trinkets, clothing that was inappropriate .....everything that did not glorify God went into that bag, and I didn’t have to think about it -- it was instinctive! It was like the Holy Ghost Housecleaner paid a visit, and took out all the dirt!
I didn’t know what it was called, but I was born again on that day in 1986. I became a Super Catholic myself, since I was saved in St. Mary’s Church, right in Yonkers, NY. After a year of being there and reading the Bible through and through, I found that I yearned for a church that taught only the Bible, and not the Bible and tradition, or anything else. We searched for, and found, a full gospel church in Port Chester, NY. Martin and I got married in 1989. In 1990, Martin was born again, while attending my deliverance from the guides that were still sticking around trying to regain lost ground. God did so much -- fixed so much -- in my life!My seizures, which had been occurring non-stop since 5 years old, came to an abrupt stop in 1990 at my deliverance. God gave me a respite -- He drove out the demons that exacerbated my epilepsy, and I stopped my medication cold turkey. I had no seizures for 4 years. After 4 years, He allowed the natural pattern of seizures to restart. My faith had grown so that having the seizures would not cause me to get shipwrecked with doubt and disbelief; I had to trust God, who certainly knew what He was doing. Now, any physical ailments I have, and I have a couple chronic thorns in the flesh, I know He is allowing for a purpose.
2Co 12:9 And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.In other words, I would rather have my seizures and my other thorns in the flesh, because it is when He does great things in my life DESPITE these things that He is glorified more...there is no alternative....God has to be the one working because I CANNOT! What a faith builder is this! To be allowed to serve God with a built in proof -- God does it, God lives in me, God is the One doing it, God is in control! And now, when you see me, you see a product in the works...a jar of clay still being formed by the hands of the Master. I won’t be finished until He returns for us, or if my days end before then, I will be complete when I see Him as He is...because I will be like Him!
1Jo 3:2 Beloved, now are we the sons of God, and it doth not yet appear what we shall be: but we know that, when he shall appear, we shall be like him; for we shall see him as he is.Allow me to end with this parable of sorts. A boyscout, a minister, and the smartest man in the world hired a pilot to fly them from New York to California. Suddenly, one engine goes out. Then another. Then another. Then another. The cockpit door bursts open and the pilot throws two parachutes on the floor. “There’s only three parachutes on this plane, and I’m taking one of them!” and out the door he goes! The other three look at each other for a moment, and the smartest man in the world picks up another parachute. “The world can’t live without my brain; I’ve helped heads of countries solve problems, I’ve gotten nations through crises, I can offer far more to the word than either of you!” And out the door he goes! The pastor looks at the boyscout and says, “Son, you go on, take the parachute-” The boyscout says, “No, no, pastor-” “Yes, yes, I know where I am going, actually, I can’t wait to get there, now, so you go, you have your whole life ahead of you-” “But pastor, you don’t understand-” “No, please-” “Pastor! The smartest man in the world just jumped out of the plane with my backpack!” Cute joke, I know, but....what’s in your backpack? Is it something that looks like salvation and feels like salvation, but when it comes time for it to BE salvation, is it going to work? Did you pack your backpack yourself, or did God give you that backpack? Are you sure? Make sure you have a real parachute on when its time to leap from this world into death. The only type of parachute that works is the salvation given by the Lord Jesus Christ. Some people have chutes that say Jesus was a good teacher. Or a prophet. Or just a good man. Some people have chutes that say there was never such a person! But, remember the words of the Savior:
Joh 8:24 I said therefore unto you, that ye shall die in your sins: for if ye believe not that I am he, ye shall die in your sins.